Dec
19
In my opinion, it’s almost unfair that Dave has announced his new album to be coming out. Now I’ve got nearly four months to wait before I hear the pure vibrations of God’s voice again. So what I’ve decided to do is get to work on my oft-procrastinated shrine to Dave. I’ve cleaned out the my office and covered the walls in Dave quotes for inspiration. I sold the computer to pay for a brand new, state of the art CD player, which will not be opened until I have Dave’s new CD firmly in my hands. This will ensure that I hear no scratches, pops, or anything else an OLD CD player might have. Additionally, I have begun to stock the room with dry food reserves and plenty of water, for I will need them during my 3 days of straight listening to Dave’s new CD. There are also plenty of tissues for the many tears I KNOW I will shed. Tomorrow, I plan to begin my marble idol of Dave, which will be carved with my teeth, as ordained in the book of Dave.
Oh holy Dave! When the Dave-pocalypse comes, I will be ready my king! Lead me unto the land of milk and acoustic music!